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What Losing My Brother Continually Reminds Me About Life

July 27, 2015 By Lynn Bryson Leave a Comment

What we know for sure:

The sky is blue.

The grass is green.

Roads can be bumpy.

Children grow up.

Parents pass away.

Pets love us unconditionally.

Some friends are forever, some are for a season.

People marry.

People divorce.

The sun will rise tomorrow even if we don’t.

And to be cliché… life goes on and on and on.

I vividly remember where I was when I got the phone call from my sister-in-law that my brother had been killed in a car accident. It was a terrible single car cash. The driver, seeing construction barrels in his lane, overcorrected causing the vehicle to slide before violently rolling five times and landing on my brother who had been ejected from his window. He died instantly.

I immediately flew to Nashville and went straight to the funeral home.

Shielding my nieces from the horrific details, I pulled the funeral director to the side to ask some questions. My biggest concern of course was “did my brother suffer?”. He said confidently “No, he died instantly.” I asked him how he could be so certain and he told me that as violent as the crash was, my brother should have been covered from head to toe in bruises. He had none- only a small scratch on the top of his head.

The two survivors were hospitalized with broken bones and plenty of bruises.

I have buried loved ones before -as I am certain you have too- but preparing to bury my brother was harder than most. He was the oldest and only boy. He had us three sisters and was a father of three girls. It was his destiny to be surrounded by girls because he was a good protector. Now he was gone and he left a big gapping hole in our family.

I eventually made my way to his house. It was extremely sad to be there.

He was one to always have a project going on at the house and his latest one was right outside his bedroom door. He was laying a new tile floor. I could see the last tile he put down and the rest of the tiles lying there waiting for him to finish.

What got to me about the unfinished project was that he fully intended to finish it- even leaving the last few tiles close by, ready to be put in place. He had no reason to believe that he wouldn’t be there to lay the last of them.

All his projects are over now. His children miss him, I miss him, my children miss him. There was so much life to still be lived and enjoyed with him, but I cannot question God’s timing or purpose. I have no idea why, I only know he’s gone.

He had a beautiful funeral. He was a judicial commissioner in a small town outside Nashville. The police force honored him by lining the streets on the way to the burial. Everyone loved him. He never met a stranger.

I miss my brother. I wish my children had known him better. They have few memories of him, but at least they have some.

So what do we know about life?

We know that it is ever-changing. That we will grow old, friends will come and go, there will be happiness and sadness, babies will be born and loved ones will be lost. The sun will rise tomorrow even if we don’t.

And it will go on.

 

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