I often have to remind myself that being afraid of something going wrong isn’t the way to make things go right. When fear dominates, paralysis sets in and the fear takes control.
The definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat whether real or imagined”.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that begins total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow my fear to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn my inner eye to see its path. And where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain” –Frank Herbert.
I really love what Frank Herbert says here because letting the fear pass over and through, and then out the back door, is a great visual I can carry with me every day. And when the fear comes -because it will come!- I will let it pass through quickly, it will not control or paralyze me and once it passes I can turn around and see that it is gone.
You know fear is controlling you when you feel desperate for life to work in your favor, when you settle instead of taking leaps of faith, when your mind says “no” even though your heart wants you to say “yes”, when you procrastinate or when you start to numb yourself with things like alcohol, excessive shopping, television or unhealthy relationships.
To take back control of our own lives we have to stop numbing ourselves to our fear. We have to admit to ourselves when we are afraid, decide that we’re sick of giving into our fear and take action against it.
After all, there are two things you can do with your fear. You can give into it or you can (as Herbert says) face it. And his process for doing so is a great one. Imagine being able to turn around and see that your fear is gone. That it no longer controls you and it’s been conquered. That the only thing left is freedom.
When freedom is in our midst nothing is impossible. All things are possible!
“You have nothing to fear” is a hard idea to accept- mostly because it isn’t true. In fact, there’s good reasoning behind our fears of things like snakes and spiders. Fear can help keep us safe and aware! But when it comes to fear over things like following your passion, growing your relationships and scheduling that doctor’s appointment you’ve been avoiding, remember this… fear is only in the mind. Research has even shown that 80% of fears never happen.
Fear comes along when you don’t know what the future holds. It doesn’t mean that there is danger ahead; it means you simply can’t see into the future and you aren’t ok with that. Trusting in the future even though you can’t see into it will obliterate fear and allow you to move forward.
And moving forward in life will feel very liberating.
So, from now on…you and I are going to let fear pass by and what will remain is only good, usable energy to do what we are meant to do in life.
#SmallSteps my friend!
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